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Beirut Update
Country: Lebanon
A Blog site that contains War diaries of a 30 year old woman living in Beirut.
Notify Blogger about objectionable content. What does this meanSend As SMSBlogThisbeirut updatewar diaries of a 30 year old woman... with love from beirut.Wednesday, August 23, 2006im alive.ceasefire does not happen overnight. its not like you wake up one morning and the birds are singing and the sun is shining and you go to work like nothing ever happened.week of hell.this past week has been slow and tough. it is almost as if last month was all played in fast forward and then since the ceasefire, we are moving in ultra slow motion. for the last month, i just wanted everything to end... now, i dont know where to begin. for the last month, i would purposefully try and numb myself because i was too afraid to feel everything... today i am begging for my feelings to return because without them, i can not live.after a month of stress and living in fear, everything has caught up with me...my throat hurts a lot and my stomach is in a perpetual mess. the knots have not gone yet and its beginning to cause physical damage.i am down, down, down.i couldnt lift a finger to type. i couldnt answer my phone calls. it was so difficult to wake up in the morning... (and im usually mrs. super positive)i guess it has all hit us one way or another- things are never going to be the same again. we can not live the lives we had a few months ago. we have to live better. somehow... if that makes any sense.i have been having the worst of nightmares... i dont know why im getting them now. before, i would give anything for a good nights rest. for a quiet night... now that i am sleeping, finally, i have allowed myself to return to the dreamworld... but, its not a very nice place at the moment. it is full of fears and worries... and so many dead people.i dont know if i could handle war again. i dont know how it is that i am still alive... i dont know if i could do it all over again. please, i dont want to.the aftermath.there were mass burials held this past week. so many bodies had been left to rot because no one could access them before. now they are being buried.families are wondering why... why....many people are getting sick. there is a new virus going around. i heard it has something to do with the toxins coming out of the damaged buildings plus the dead bodies... it could be from the oil spill.. from the tanks that burned for three weeks covering Beirut in a black smog... the virus lasts for a few days... its effects are vomiting, diarrhea and very high temperature.on the day of the ceasefire, many people began the return to their homes. they crossed the rivers by foot when needed....they were so determined to get home.. to see if they still had a home. Nasrallah announced that he was going to fix all the houses for free... and that he would provide money to pay for accommodations for people who had lost their homes, while he fixed their old homes.there are cluster bombs everywhere. they dropped cluster bombs on us... there are so many that didnt explode... they are so so
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